Black Joe Lewis’ guitar does very bad things in “Sexual Tension” video

There’s a lot to unpack in the new Black Joe Lewis’ new video for “Sexual Tension” directed by the Holden Brothers.

Here’s a quick blow by blow (spoilers ahead!):

Propelled by a barrage of bossy brass and Black Joe Lewis’ snarling, sexually tense hook, our protagonist, goofy dude with a bulldog, looks like he’s about to have the best day ever at the vet’s office when he spies unnaturally attractive young woman sprawling sexily in the waiting area with her own bulldog. Implausibly, she’s throwing come hither looks. Goofy awkward dudes are her thing! Is it fate?

But, oh no! Dude makes a super gross choice with his dog’s water bowl. What’s wrong with you, dude? Now this whole thing is just weird.

Wait here comes (Dr.?) Lewis in scrubs. Oh thank god, save her from this fool, who is now breaking a sweat with his insane dance moves. He’s pulling out his guitar. Surely, he’ll take care of this. But, hold on a second, is Black Joe Lewis ‘gritty guitar magic good or evil?

That wicked guitar lick has infected her with pure sex vibes. Even weirdo seems hot now. She’s down. She’s totally down. He’s eating hot dogs, corn on the cob. She wants it ALL.¬†Um, are we OK with this? Pretty sure we’re not OK with this.

Oh thank god, the lights come on. The spell is broken. The slimy dude is maced.

But we still don’t know if that guitar was good or evil. Either way it seems pretty dangerous.

Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears play the Radio Day Stage at the 2017 SXSW Convention March17. Tom McCarthy Jr. for American-Statesman